Stop Chewing on Your Sister... And other useless rants.

Stop barking at me. No, I'm not sharing my beer with you. Did you bother to offer me any of your dog food? No, I'm not sharing my dinner with you. Squirrels are not your friends. Please stop chewing on your sister. If you were a fly on the wall, or either one of my neighbors; these are some of the things that you'd hear yelled in and around my house. Personally I think that I have the worst animals in the world. They are ill mannered,OK maybe that's my fault. They really aren't trained well. I tried; we went to puppy classes. I personally believed that she passed them because they were so damned cute. But if Caesar Milan were to show up at my front door, he'd turn around and go back to Mexico.They are dirty little animals. Again maybe my fault.When it rains, Fiona likes to roll around in the mud like a pig. But if it's not raining,she just rolls around in the dirt and pretends that it's mud. As I sit here trying to type this; Fiona and Buttercup are currently wrestling in the backyard. As they roll around on what is left of my lawn. A thick cloud of dust and dirt surround them while they frolic in what used to be my beautiful back yard. You know that dogs kill grass. I refuse to plant any more grass until they get a job. They are too big to try and wrestle them into the bath tub. And trying to hose them down in the yard would be a fiasco. Just think more mud for Fiona to roll around in. Which leaves wrestling them into the car and dragging off to the groomers. Currently my car is full of dog hair from our last trip to Petmart. Fiona doesn't really care for the car.Unless it just happens to be one of those days that they escaped from our yard and is waiting for me to come pick them up from whatever neighbors yard that they've decided to play hide and seek in. At this point they are both so tired they just want to get in the car and go home. Just to let you know, they're usually up the street or around the corner from the house. Lazy Bitches.